Monday, April 30, 2012

Singing in the Shower No Mistake

Okay today I went to the gym after a two week break.  I had hit an all time high had seven weeks felt great then I had a run in with loosing my voice!  Oh boy, that was a rough three days.  So it felt great to get back in the water today!  As I left the Pool area and headed to the shower I started Singing this song, My God's Not Dead he is Surley Alive.  Ive only heard it a few times but the words just kept coming to me.  I thought I was just repeating them in my mind but I was really sing in the shower.  Oh boy, I thought!  Okay what is God trying to tell me?  So Now I'm Dressed I'm getting my stuff together I Look up and there is one Of my former Co-Workers who happens to be one of the Ladies responsible in helping me Accept Jesus as my savior Yup Theresa Bowman-Downing.  We talked for an Hour I finally got to thank her for the meet and Greet lunch, but most of all share with her that I accepted Jesus that day after talking to Annie Mckithen.  Theresa is also the person who is responsible for me attending Central.  So No Mistake singing in the shower today!  After an awesome service and celebration of Baptism yesterday I know God is Alive!  So I just wanted to Share this song!! Peace Love and joy to all that may find comfort and solice in my joy of writting and daily tid bits!!  OLA In his presence!!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Take your Time? PRAY ?

This one is not easy for me...So often I have found myself living in a world of  anxiety, filled with fear, self doubt.  Soon after our return from Haiti I learned that Jeremy and Bryan were working on a video I was asked to be part of.  Even though I said yes I was so nervous about it.  I was talking to a friend TJ about this.  He said let me tell you something every time I get ready to sing I always get the same feeling in my stomach but you know what I learned  I have to take time and pray.  I don't think God puts us through struggles to give us pain instead I think he wants us to learn to be patient and remember it is all about him.  So Thanks for that TJ.  Tuesday I knew I was going to start my first night at Breakaway with our Sr high kids, the morning started with my Daughter in law Jess showing me how Jaxxyn was learning to sit & roll over.  However, as the day went on I felt the anxious feeling once again so I left for church a little early I walked around for a bit and prayed felt a little better.  I went down stairs to the Breakaway rooms and was reading the posters then Bryan came he took me up stairs to one of the fellas I Know and asked him to introduce me to his friends he did then they left, so I knew it was time for me to go chat to some of the kids I already knew then introduce myself to those I did not, I even got asked to play B-Ball with a few.  Bryan introduced me as he opened up Leaders greeted me as well as a few new kids that I did not know.  Great night!  Great Kids!  Wednesday Morning starts I'm all excited going to Hair Salon to get a new look.  As I am there my mind starts to think about my Sister DonaRae who is going through a trial having some testing done.  Even though I'm in a happy place showing the excitement of the new hair style I hear the voice inside my head thinking how my sister must feel so alone not having no faith to hold on to.  I leave run some errands, get home start the routine of cleaning laundry all of a sudden I think oh no it's Wednesday I have a dinner to go to tonight.  So in a panic I call my friend Donna ask her can we wear jeans to this restaurant, not sure never been there.  As I'm looking for the Jeans and Shirt I want to wear I can't find them so I start fussing, complaining my 22 year old son comes home from work walks in to hear this behavior, he looks at me says really? Walks back upstairs.  So now Donna text's me back ok first wrong Wednesday, that will be next week what's on your mind?  So I shared with Donna what's going on with my sister.  Donna tells me she will Pray for her.  So now I feel like a fool and have to go say I'm sorry for the messed up behavior to my son.  So we are sitting in the sun porch I tell him I'm sorry and he tells me It's okay but Mom you might want to think about things before you say things out loud were people can here you, when you tell someone one thing and then you behave or speak differently they call that being a hypocrite.  At first I was ready , to justify my behavior, However if I did this I knew it would be wrong So I ate crow and once again told him your right son I'll try to remember to be more patient, pray and then speak or act upon something.  I know that the test of trials is how God develops patients in us just like using a mussel if you don't use it weakness occurs if you use it then it strengthens.  James 1-3 tells us...
For you know when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  So next time you feel anxious just remember to TAKE THE TIME TO PRAY. 

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Faith in the Hand of Honesty

Where does our faith go when we are struggling with our troubles?  Do we feel that everything we have learned in our faith has slipped out the door and it's all gone in the wind?  Or maybe even dare to say that we are angry at God in the midst of a really rough storm?  Feeling that he has adbanded us?  Remember Simon Peter, did he not three times deny our Lord before the Rooster even had a chance to crow in the morning.  I can really relate to these things. So when we come out of the mist or the fog, do you see that it was Jesus that was trusting in us. I have to be honest here, many times I have said things were great when in all reality it was really bad, I hid, ran, even may have looked you in the face and said everything was "Fine" a word that has really been removed from my vocabulary as much as possible.  In a recent change in my life I had to be HONEST with myself, I have no control over anything it is my Lord and Savior who controls it all.  How awesome is that he give us a choice to be free. There are spiritual forces out there they can either lead us to truth or deciet.  The choice is our's to make we can try to hide behind the scars or we can choose to remember that our Mighty King has the nail pierced hands and feet.  So lets just be honest hold on to your Faith it will give you the truth that will lead us to freedom. If you choose to be sinful and not be honest it drags you into deciet. Then deciet leads to bondage.  I ask you not to hide behind your scars, pain, hurts Just be honest and remember who has your back in the misty storms of Life.  As I went through this change the closer I drew to Jesus the easier it was to accept the truth about myself.  I am so greatful that while I struggled with my Faith for a few days and became honest with myself and my loved ones it was in the Hand of Jesus all along that I found true freedom.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

this morning im waiting for Jaxxyn to come he is 5 months old today.  I get the priveledge of watching him while Mom and Dad take his big brother Cory to New York City for another class to put on his acting resume.  As I sip on my coffee the sun is shinning all around me the birds are busy singing, the squirls are running around playing.  Last night I went to have dinner with a friend.  I ran into an old friend that I worked with.  It was really great to see this lady.  We chatted just like we use to all good fun stuff.   The thing that was really strange for me in a good way was I got up to say hello to her.  My past is very slowly fadding, A new blossom inside of me is evolving. Just like the signs of spring all around me something new is in bloom each new day.  I don't say this in a bragging way, I say it only to help you understand that someone loves me enough to call me his treasured Jewel. As Proverbs 3:21-23 shows us... My child don't loose sight of common sense and discernment.  Hang on to them, for they will refresh your soul.  They are like Jewels on a necklace.  They keep you safe on your way, and your feet will not stumble.  Yes can you believe that My heavenly father gives me jewels for my neckless.  It's one that you may not be visible to your eyes, however I hold them close to my heart.  He gives me confidence when I need it and yes he has even sat me down and said hey you need to listen to me not man.
Even in my darkest of storms when I feel like rolls of thunder and crashes of waves are beating me down I find tresure in his truth.  Seeking it daily seems to help me keep my feet planted deep in the tresure chest seeking guidence in all I do.  So the next time you feel a storm coming just dig deep and reach into the chest for his tresure he wants to share.   Also be stead fast and ready to wear your Jewels proudly you just never know you might want or need  to share one.


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Heart Chaging

It's been 4 months since I have went to Haiti.  While on this trip I realized very early on that GOD had more planned for me than I could ever imagine.  It's been a heart changing trip.  Early on I had to search my heart and remove alot of feelings that I had.  God changed my Heart to allow me to feel and see things through the Eyes of the Haitian's, also with the 33 others that I was on the missions trip with.  It's allowed me to be open to be honest with others. To be up front and admitt when I did or said something out of chacter.  I had college and High school gals that opened my eyes to see another side of me that made me realize I needed to change to allow myself to grow spiritually.  Just the last few weeks I hve found my quite time spot where I can sit and find comfort with God.  I am learning that he has given us each a voice and there is a purpose for us all in life.  I have come to realize I often was living my life for the world around me, often seeking others opion and how they felt.  Just the other night while talking to one of the young gals from our trip she pointed out to me that If I feel a passion and God's speaking to you Listen to what he wants you to do I reached out to her it seemed like she needed someone to chat to and at the end of our chat we both found comfort by sharing what God had put on our hearts.  1 Corintians 2:4-5 I relied only on the power of the Holy Spirit.  I did this so you would trust not in Human wisdom but in the power of God.  I know now that my purpose in life is to be the person God has called me to be.  I am finding such a peace in my life knowing that I don't have to seek approval from others to make me complete.  I'm finding that new voice deep inside of me.  Funny thing is God has chossen to take that voice from me for the moment.  Yup I have lost my voice and have been told that I need to rest.  So rest I am in the loving arms of my Savior the one who has challenged me to seek out my purpose!!  My hope in sharing this bolg today is that if one person reads it and realizes that they too have a purpose and have been seating at the edge looking over they will take taht leap of faith and find when they jump they will land in the loving graceful arms of of our God!  Be well my darlings! 

Friday, August 12, 2011

Ready Or Not

Seven years ago I started reading a book by Tony Evans Called Totally Saved.  For what ever  reason I did not finish this book only God knows.   I was asking myself while I was getting ready for vacation hmm, what book to take?  I pull the tote filled with books from under the bed  out falls Totally Saved, Okay? really God?  Now after seven long years of holding on to this book? Really? You want me to read it now?  Was I ready to read this book? Hmm only time would tell.  Once again, I started to read thinking am I truly Saved? My answer is Yes. I knew that I accepted his gift with open arms, after all nobody else in my life that I have a relationship with would send their only son to Die for me on the cross.  It just might give me a better understanding of my life.  Being Totally Saved is a True gift.   While I love to be creative, I don't see myself as a Teacher NO WAY NOT ME GOD!! Why are you sending these people to me? Why are they asking me to start teaching them things during Central Crafters?  Okay Run, Hurry up run away, Ha ha now you are really showing me your Humor  God.  Really you have have to send the Pastor's Wife also the Head honcho for Children's Ministry after me to Make your point clear?  me help?  with Crafts For Kids Camp!  Am I ready for this? Ready or Not Can I tell you that Kids Camp Pandamania Changed my life once again.  I was filled with fear doubt also oh no what if I'm a failure?  Am I ready to get in front of these Kids of God's, to share with them what a gift his salvation really is. That it's the only gift I know of that no one can physically see it or take it away!  I was to busy trying to change myself instead of letting God Change me into the person he has desined me to be.  I failed to see that it did not matter if I was ready or not God was ready.  He was the one that gave me strength, also when I messed up one night's bible point he gave me the Humor to start over, the kids thaought that was great!! 
1 John 4:4
  You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
Only Jesus can save us so why do we waste so much time trying to change ourselves?  Ready or not?  Today I can say I'm ready. 

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Inspired by wisdom

I alway thought I knew about wisdom, well maybe I'm just learning a little bit more about it these days.  As I look back over the last three years of being a part of the inspired Artist workshops  I have  realized that I have grown so much in so many ways.  How do I thank all of the Men & Women that have touched my life in some way.  DONNA & BILL get first shout out!!  Some don't know the story so I'll share a little of my world, I have always loved basketball thank God all three of my sons did as well that is how I came to meet Donna & Bill.  Bill's Dad and Uncle know my husband.  Found this out by reading Simple Scrapbboks Magizine where I first started following Donna. I was amazed at what she was doing deep in my heart I had so many of the same ideas stiring inside of me, adding diffrent media into scrapbooking but was such a coward.  First year of Inspired Was all ready to roll and I heard this voice Nope not now, well we lost my Mother In law that January so I said nope just can't do it. 
Second year I'm pumped nothing is stopping me!!  Even though again Death knocked at my door with the loss of  my own Dad I had to do Inspired.  So Joey & I check in Joey goes to the room I go to the lobby to wait to saee if I see Donna Instead I see this woman with this Huge smile walking towards me and asks me if I am here for Inspired.  Yup now my great friend Mac. Later Joey and I meet Donna & Bill.  I was so excited, felt so blessed by their hospitallity most of all for getting to know Donna later that night as I walked through the hallways by myself  headed back to my room Donna Grabbed my hand and said come Share our story of how we met. Not my Story she said our's I felt such a bond from that moment on several hours, giggles, laughs, smiles later  I made it back to my room with only a few hours to sleep.  In my first class I meet up with Lotty & Katherine.  They knew my weakness right away fear of taking Classes and not being as good or worthy?  Sound like something you may have expierenced on some level hey?  Well then as the day went On I meet the Sweetest Mother Daughter Team Mary & Catherine.  So now I have a new Mom & Sister how darn awesome is that.  Classes are going fine then I come to this sweet ladies class with CC Cookies Yup Stephanie Ackerman's Class so I'm sitting there doing fine then I start to panic thinking is this right Im sitting here having fun We Lost my MIL my Dad then to boot My FIL is battling cancer too? I had a total melt down trying to compose myself as Lotty and Katherine are helping me Stephanie Stands right next to me, whispers breathe your doing fine, I shared with her what was going on with me hestiantly glad I did though.  After that class I took a breather went to the bar had lunch with Joe I ate sooo much yummy Nope not at all I over ate... Story of my life...that's another time.  So then it's time for the next class I get seperated Lotty & Katherine so I'm in panic mode once again Until I see this Blonde there she was the lady from the Lobby darn what's her name I thought whew she calls me over to the table, rest is history for that year. Really year three and Im still going back for more Inspired? 
I m feeling somewhat nervous once again I walk into Stephanie's class sit Down and she walks up to me and say's MaryElla how is your Father In Law?  Gives me a big hug and shares some wisdom with me.  Love you Stephanie!! I go to this jewerly class whereI really don't think I know anyone and Detria & cameron call me to there table two of the sweetest gals. Okay now Im in the Mosaic class, Im totally panicing once again I know what Im doing but fear is settling in, when out of no where this geourgous young lady steps up to me and puts her hand on my back lean in say's its okay I get it, she ask's me can I show you something? I'm Like sure she does exactly what I was afraid to do makes different stitch desins on My Mosaic thanks Bree Love you to pieces.  Then In the Suze's Class along with Mac and Bree I meet this amzing gal standing on a chair making everyone laugh Cheryl you are amazing.  Thank God for Facebook!! 
Okay here we are at our last Inspired workshop, Im coming back from Lunch with Joey, All of a sudden from the coffee shope I hear this quite voive hey you, I turn and it's Bree I intoduce Joey to her and say okay see ya friday LOL We sat and talked for hours the wisdom within this young lady was just what the Dr odered for me I.  I sat and listened to her something very hard for me to do!  LOL but it's what I needed to do.  When Bree got the Call that our Mac was just a few minutes away we went and sat and waited for the limo wow what and enternace we all stood there hugging!!  Later when Bree went to get Cheryl and we were in Donna's Studio she ran in the class and Hugged and Kissed us yup we made that scene in class.  So many more people have touched my life along the way.  I'm even blessed to say the conversations with Palo have for every etched a special friendship in my heart. Then Katie & Kelli are the Sweethearts that helped me through with words of wisdom from a higher power and I have two new sisters forever!!  Bill & I also have a special bond and I'm so thankful that Iknew his uncle & Dad or I would have never had the courage to come to Inspired!!  I know in my heart this is thebeginning of the Journey for me not the end !!!  I will always look at the world like a rainbow so many colors and you never know when the Posiblities are there!  Thanks to all of you who have touched my heart and if your not mentioned here trust me you still touched my heart and you all know who you are!!!