Thursday, April 26, 2012

Take your Time? PRAY ?

This one is not easy for me...So often I have found myself living in a world of  anxiety, filled with fear, self doubt.  Soon after our return from Haiti I learned that Jeremy and Bryan were working on a video I was asked to be part of.  Even though I said yes I was so nervous about it.  I was talking to a friend TJ about this.  He said let me tell you something every time I get ready to sing I always get the same feeling in my stomach but you know what I learned  I have to take time and pray.  I don't think God puts us through struggles to give us pain instead I think he wants us to learn to be patient and remember it is all about him.  So Thanks for that TJ.  Tuesday I knew I was going to start my first night at Breakaway with our Sr high kids, the morning started with my Daughter in law Jess showing me how Jaxxyn was learning to sit & roll over.  However, as the day went on I felt the anxious feeling once again so I left for church a little early I walked around for a bit and prayed felt a little better.  I went down stairs to the Breakaway rooms and was reading the posters then Bryan came he took me up stairs to one of the fellas I Know and asked him to introduce me to his friends he did then they left, so I knew it was time for me to go chat to some of the kids I already knew then introduce myself to those I did not, I even got asked to play B-Ball with a few.  Bryan introduced me as he opened up Leaders greeted me as well as a few new kids that I did not know.  Great night!  Great Kids!  Wednesday Morning starts I'm all excited going to Hair Salon to get a new look.  As I am there my mind starts to think about my Sister DonaRae who is going through a trial having some testing done.  Even though I'm in a happy place showing the excitement of the new hair style I hear the voice inside my head thinking how my sister must feel so alone not having no faith to hold on to.  I leave run some errands, get home start the routine of cleaning laundry all of a sudden I think oh no it's Wednesday I have a dinner to go to tonight.  So in a panic I call my friend Donna ask her can we wear jeans to this restaurant, not sure never been there.  As I'm looking for the Jeans and Shirt I want to wear I can't find them so I start fussing, complaining my 22 year old son comes home from work walks in to hear this behavior, he looks at me says really? Walks back upstairs.  So now Donna text's me back ok first wrong Wednesday, that will be next week what's on your mind?  So I shared with Donna what's going on with my sister.  Donna tells me she will Pray for her.  So now I feel like a fool and have to go say I'm sorry for the messed up behavior to my son.  So we are sitting in the sun porch I tell him I'm sorry and he tells me It's okay but Mom you might want to think about things before you say things out loud were people can here you, when you tell someone one thing and then you behave or speak differently they call that being a hypocrite.  At first I was ready , to justify my behavior, However if I did this I knew it would be wrong So I ate crow and once again told him your right son I'll try to remember to be more patient, pray and then speak or act upon something.  I know that the test of trials is how God develops patients in us just like using a mussel if you don't use it weakness occurs if you use it then it strengthens.  James 1-3 tells us...
For you know when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  So next time you feel anxious just remember to TAKE THE TIME TO PRAY. 

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